My wife has been locked in an emotional affair with a guy from work who has broken the physical part off with my W and moved in with a 22-year old. The OM has even gone out of his way to show my W how selfish and callous he is by announcing to her in mid-December that he was leaving work to go and have sex for the 1st time with his new fling.
Of course my W was devastated and she spent Christmas break talking about our R and making it better. We even went out and bought her a new wedding ring so she wouldn't have to wear the old one. Things were going well for us until the OM called my W on two consecutive evenings while my W was in Indiana with her family. When she got home, she told me that her and the OM were good friends and they were going to continue being friends. Now how is that for crazy? He treats her like dirt, essentially lets her know that she was replaced because she wouldn't sleep with him, but yet she values him so highly and is deathly afraid to lose him. By definition, I'd say NUTS!
They communicate at work daily and text like crazy at night. In the beginning, the W was good at keeping me posted of her conversations with the OM. However, on the evening of Thursday, Jan. 10, something happened that my wife said has caused her to no longer trust me and she is no longer in love with me.
My W invited me to spoon her in our bed (I'm in the guest room now) and we fell asleep. She woke me up and wanted me to put my hand down her pants, which I did and we fooled around. We stopped short of intercourse, but it was really cool to connect like that again.
Well, the next day, she was LIVID at me and said I had VIOLATED her in the night because she was asleep and didn't authorize the sexual contact and interaction. Did I think she was awake? Well, she was writhing, moaning, talking, and putting the death grip on the bed posts, so naturally I thought she was not only alert, but 100% into it. I was shocked to hear I was some sort of a sexual monster. Who wouldn't have read the tea leaves like I did? However, she did make me feel as if I was the one wrong here and since that evening, she's been incredibly distant and more interactive with the OM.
How's that for NUTS? I know this means I need to back WAAAY off, which is going to continue to happen. However, I can't help but think I'm the one who is NUTS because I'm willing to fight for her and us and I'm willing to take her crap on this.
This is the current deadly wedge issue for us and I know it is being used for her to avoid facing the real issues she has about herself and us. I also know the OM is another distraction that keeps her from focusing on the massive amount of work she needs to do.
I'm interested to hear what people have to say on this because I don't feel like I was wrong, but you can be darn sure I'll be waking her up and making her sign an notarized document before a situation like this will ever take place again.
Oh, well. If I'm nuts, I think I'm nuts for the right reason. Saving my marriage and getting this alien out of my wife is definitely worth the crap I'm eating right now. It doesn't taste good, but if I can keep fighting, pull a 180 and refuse to give up or give in, it will end up tasting like a well aged fliet mignon.
