Several months ago, when the stresses of motherhood seemed to be getting to her, I suggested that Mrs. Eddie fly out to see one of our mutual friends for a few days while I stayed with the kids. She said no, and when asked for a reason, told me that she was afraid that if she went, she wouldn't want to come back.
Which, I think, ties in to a lot of people's (mine included, at times) thinking about pleasure. If you allow yourself to taste too much of it, you'll get addicted, and you won't be able to face the less pleasant parts of life or shoulder your responsibilities. And since one of the most pleasurable experiences you can have is sex, guess what goes by the wayside when you're afraid of getting hooked on pleasure.
The complicating factor, of course, is that it is possible to get hooked on certain forms of pleasure and become disabled by an addiction. Actually, there are convincing tales of people being addicted to just about every sort of pleasure, including sex, and doing stupid things as a result. So it's pretty natural to conclude that the way to avoid addiction and remain able to shoulder your responsibilities is to keep pleasure to a minimum.
That doesn't mean it's a correct conclusion, just one that is pretty easy to reach and believe in for lots of people. And it strikes me that a lot of people who seem to enjoy sex and then spend most of their time avoiding it might be operating from this mindset.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
I think there is something to this. If you just listen to the people around you, you will hear anti-pleasure statements a lot. "Oh that pie looks TOO good. I don't dare have any!" "I'd love to just sleep late sometime, but it might become a habit." "I hate going to the gym, but it's good for me, so I do it." Even "medicine has to taste bad to be good."
There is a puritanical streak in our culture that says that if something feels good, it must be bad-- either fattening, illegal, a sign of a weak character, or just plain evil.
I guess it makes sense that in a life of budget-watching, calorie-counting, crunches and push-ups, early rising, working at a job you don't care for, short or no vacations... letting loose in the privacy of your bedroom must seem like... well: sin!
Our society is not good at "pleasure." Look at some European countries that take long siestas in the middle of the day AT HOME (prime time for sex-- the kids are at school and the parents aren't exhausted), long vacations, leisurely meals. Our society is driving harder instead of relaxing its grip. The current economic situation doesn't help. People feel in a pressure cooker and that is the enemy of pleasure.
