Still improving

[lizzy]

I forgot to mention something interesting earlier. As we were driving to dinner lastnight we passed a candy shop. D10 said to H isn't that where you always get Mommy's presents? H said sometimes. D mentioned that Valentines Day is coming up. At this point I wanted to jump out of the car. H said I will be out of town that day. Then H asked when it is as he didn't realize that it is always on the 14th. H then realized that he will be in town. UGH! I felt bad about it because who knows what the heck that day will be like. I know it is 3 weeks away, but I'm dreading that day already. I guess I'll have to buy a variety of cards since I don't know for sure what is appropriate to give to H.

[betteroffvsmost]

I'm with you on this one.
Just get Christmas and New Year's out the way and up comes Valentine's.
In many ways I'm finding this more difficult to contemplate than the other two....and we still have about three weeks to go.

I'm seriously thinking, the first time in my married life, about doing nothing at all for the 14th. I'll probably cave in about two days before or else I'll be accused of not fighting enough to win back W.

Easter hols after that.

The only way I try dealing with it at the moment is to attempt to shove it all to the back of my mind and know it will all turn out okay in the end. Probably not a very healthy way of dealing with it.

[Kalni]

Hey Liz,

I posted earlier today I have a good story about my anniversary of 7 years. It was on Dec 9th which just happens to be the birthday of my daughter as well.
Well, he insisted coming to our home to celebrate her bday with his dad and sister just as if everything was ok. It was 20 days after he left us and I then was really mad and I would have killed him if he had come to our house. My psycologist and the kids psycologist had to talk him out of it because they felt it was too soon to play happy family and expect me to be friendly and polite. He just couldn't get it.

So Christmas, New Years, namedays, I just tried to put it on hold. I have promised myself that next year I'll throw a huge reconcil party on our anniversary. You are all invited. Valentines will have to wait too.

I believe each has to do what he feels is right and will take him closer to his goal. Maybe for some of us is a chance to show how we feel. Maybe some of our spouses will consider it as an opportunity to admit their mistake. Who knows?

Take care
Kalni

I am getting tired of the half and half. That must be really good cake my H is eating because he has eaten a lot.

It gets old pretty quick, that's for sure. Much like my sitch, your's isn't getting worse, but it certainly isn't getting better. My W is sitting on the floor right now on her laptop - I could go over to her, kiss her on the lips and tell her I love her, and I'll get an ILY back and she won't complain about it. On the other hand, I even bring up R or M, she'll tell me she wants to be on her own, as she's talking to OM on instant messenger.

H does have a business trip the end of the week and will be gone for almost a week. I think that will be a good break for all of us. Hopefully he will be able to do some thinking while he is gone.

I think it'll be good for you both to have some time apart - Your separation seems to just bring more problems and stress. You could probably do with some peace and quiet

[lizzy]

H came by about noon and we went to a "family" function together. D15 went to a movie w/ a friend from there. H was driving my car and I needed gas. (I had mentioned lastnight when he was driving my car that I would go out later but it was to darn cold.) I had told H if he stopped I would pump as I was capable of that. H pretty much kept my tank full for the last 16 years. He hasn't said anything since I started doing it months ago. H pulled in to a gas station because the price was actually down about 20cents. I quickly jumped out and pumped the gas w/ no response from H. Oh well, I need him to see I'm not helpless.

After we got home I got ready to go out so H could have time w/ D10. She was upset because sis was gone and I was leaving. Sent H a few text about it back and forth and they ended up getting out of the house for awhile. I just ran errands but it is actually nice to be able to do that w/out Ds along getting on each others nerves. They are great kids, but they tend to push each others buttons at times.

I picked up D15 and got home a little before H and D10. We had our usual Sunday pizza dinner. Before ordering we had a family disagreement about the toppings. It was something that normally would have made H mad for awhile and cause him to withdraw from us. However I remained pretty calm about it all.

After dinner we did a little text flirting and a tlittle fondling by H. Did a little verbal flirting then. Thats 180 for me.

[lizzy]

On my way out the door this morning H told me to have fun. (Not sure if that was a joke or what as my job has been no fun lately. My boss has had to miss a lot of work the last month and we have been short another person in my building since Dec. 1st. Basically I'm doing the job of 3 people many days on top of all the other $hit in my life.) Well I was having a good morning and then all heck broke loose. In the midst of the stuff I sent H a text telling him something that happened. H sent me a text asking if I was ok. That felt good to see because I think he was genuinely concerned.

On another note...my boss phoned. I told the secretary to tell her I was turning into her as I bought the CD's of two of the artist that will be at the concert I was thinking about taking H to. Boss asked if I wanted to go w/ her and her friends and I said sure. Then I sent H a msg. and asked if he was ok w/ that. H didn't know what concert I was talking about so I had to explain that. I said he didn't seem interested and I wanted to go. Said I would rather go w/ him but if he didn't I would go w/ boss. H was ok w/ it so I will be going but w/out him. At least I don't think he will go w/ EA even though it will be in a huge stadium.

I had to ask H to go to a meeting for D15's school. That is usually my thing. I just couldn't do it given the day I had and I had to take D10 to skating.

Drum roll please.....I am going to work on me this week.
1. I have a hair appt. on Wed. I need a new style to show I'm moving on.

2. I will sign back up for WW as I'm putting on some pounds. I am over the not eating thing.

3. I will start to work out at home this week. I have plenty of videos, I need to buy some workout tools or equipment.

[not an ex yet]

Lizzy,
sounds there there are some good thing happening between you and H! That's great!
Sorry you had such a rough day at work.
I think you handled the concert perfectly! I'm sure he was surprised that you are going without him. Is that a 180 for you? Good job.
Excellent goals! I have decided to do something about my weight too. I have been packing on the pounds the last few months! Good luck, I'm right there with ya!

[lizzy]

Not much contact w/ H the last two days. I had somewhere I had to go right from work yesterday. H actually had to get D to the rink himself and do a family errand that I always do. I thought for sure they would get takeout, but H had D15 start dinner. I was shocked that they made dinner on there own w/ no suggestions from me.

Today the Ds and I got haircuts and didn't get home till after 7. H was here and ate then he had to leave. Tomorrow is his evening w/ the Ds so I wonder if he will start packing for his trip.

H hasn't set up his ipod that the Ds got him for Christmas. I called today to see if he wanted me to help him w/ that before he went on his trip. H really seemed to appreciate the thought.

[Kalni]

Hey Lizzy,

How is your hair? Did he notice the change (if you had one).I am changing the color today...

Good that you are going to the concert. I din't quite get it though, why you were asking him if he was OK with you going with your boss. Did I miss something? By the way who is the artist you are going (curious).

Kalni

Hi Lizzy!

Hope everything is okay - Not seen you around for a few days!!