well, all hell broke loose, it is over and done

[peaceful_spirit]

Cat,
I know everything you're going through. I can empathize like you wouldn't believe.

This S is necessary. And I'm glad you're come to that realization. And try to see this as a necessary step for YOU... forget about waht it will do for/to him. This will save you. It will allow you to step away from the misery for a while.

Here are some of teh things that helped me, when I would detach from H...

- I did things around the house to make the house my own. For example, I got a desk for my bedroom because i couldn't stand giong down the the basement to do my work. I got a bunch of yummy candles and lit them often (still do)... things like that.

- I created new traditions with my kids. For example, I started Monday picnic night, where the kids and I would to chinese takeout and have a picnic in the TV room on a tablecloth. Then I did Tuesday night story night. YOu get the ides

- I made plans with friends. This was a life saver.

- I tried to find ways to reinvent myself. For example, i was jsut starting to get a consulting business off the ground. So, I researched other areas I could get into.

These are all things that I did for myself when H would move out. They were things that made me feel good... whole...empowered.

You can do the same. LIke you said about having your friends over for dinner. GREAT. And let go of waht your H is doing or thinking. Sure, those thoughts will creep in, but try to detach, mentally.

Will it be easy no. But I think you'll find that it will give you FAR more peace than what you've been going through. At least, that's how it was for me.

I know this is hard. Taking the step of actually having him move out is very hard. But once it's done, you will feel such relief.

And just remember, this is probably only temporary. Think of it as the one last step to saving your M.... and more importantly SAVING YOURSELF!