NikB #24

[NikB]

thanks Michelle and SD!!

Michelle I know.. I almost feel oddly "guilty" posting stuff like that knowing just how much so many are going through. But I also remember on the worst of the nights alone and crying and screaming "WHY!!!" I liked reading the good stuff and seeing some hope out there... so hope it's not all bad. Hey hope to see ya next Friday!!

Speaking of which, in all the "excitement" I forgot to mention I did tell H about the party. It was interesting actually. "Icky friend" of H's was talking about how "we" (me, H, the 3 girls, and some other friends) should all go out next Fri. night. H said "Yeah sure, I don't think we have any plans" (it was nice to be "we"). I said "Umm actually ... meant to tell you later but.. I'm having a party next Friday! You're welcome to come it should be fun." H said something about how much I enjoy planning parties and I agreed, said it was fun to be planning another one. Told him the theme of it and such. He asked who was coming and I told him the names I knew of (mostly girls, a few guys)... he was visibly surprised by the "guy" names but didn't say anything. Then said "Well, maybe I can go out with [icky friend and group] and you and your friends could meet us later?" Thought that was kinda cool.. first time he's shown ANY interest in meeting my "new" friends. Originally I thought it'd be an early night but now I'm thinking the wine/cheese party may go awhile so we'll see...

Anyway that was all last night. Tonight... had a lot of fun at the Mardi Gras / Cajun party! My roasted potatoes were a hit so that was cool. And for the first time I didn't leave when the first "wave" of people started to go. Turned out there's kind of a core group that hangs out together after, so I got to be part of the "after party" which was fun. I think maybe one of the people there knows my sitch and only briefly - sooo nice to be out w/a group where the focus is something ELSE.

Most of them wanted to come to my house next Fri too.. yikes! I think I may have a REALLY full house. Kinda cool though. I am usually the "it's not a party unless you plan 6 months in advance" types.. so trying to just roll with this and have fun. I need to figure out how to get Mr. Creepy off the "guest list" but otherwise I'm set. Oh and usually if we DO have a big party it's almost sad, 95% of the people are H's friends. I was kinda laughing today thinking if we have a big party together again in the future, everyone's not gonna fit in the house. But it was a GREAT feeling.