You're right, catfan, going dark is extremely difficult. I am currently having some issues with that. (Please read my thread and offer any insight that you can. Please!)
CF...my H and I went through a horrendous experience that lasted for over four years. It tore our lives upside down, inside and out. Our lives are radically different than when we started out nine years ago. We were not prepared for it, we experienced it simultaneously but differently, and we did not know how to handle it. We did not handle it well.
One thing that we had in common was anger. He was angry at me, and I was angry at everyone, for awhile. Through weekly counseling, I found that my real anger was directed at ME. I have dealt with that anger, and it no longer has a place in my life. I have forgiven myself for what happened. I didn't ask for it, I didn't want it, but I got it anyway. Now it is time to move past that and live my life the best I can. H has gone to counseling sporadically. I don't know why he starts and stops, but I can guess. My guess is that when he is asked to think differently than he currently thinks, he quits going. Until he CAN re-frame his thinking, he will remain angry and bitter about the events that changed our lives.
