It's a stupid title, but I can't ever think of anything!
Hi all.
Thanks for the responses on my last thread.
My STBX does royally tick me off in that he is one of the MLCers that blows off what the kids think and feel. But if I was to be completely honest, he kinda did this always. In my opinion he has never been really involved with them. That was one of our "problems", I thought he should be more invovled and he just never was.
I do want to protect my kids and I do not want to force D9 to do something she really doesn't want to do (visit her dad). But, she is supposed to go and spend a couple of weeks there this summer, it might be good for her to see it now for 3 days to see how it goes before she is stuck there for a longer time. I will have to talk to her still.
Our family friend did come and take us out to breakfast today. He is such a wonderful man, very thoughtful and caring. I asked him how the ow was when he met her. He thought about it and said his wife would tell him to tell me something to make me feel better, but he wanted to be honest with me, not to try and make me feel bad, but he was very impressed with her. He said she was really very nice and very attentive to my kids. He did say that he realized some of that was probably for show but that it should comfort me a little that she was kind to my girls. I understand that and I am glad she is not mean to them. But still.
He did say his wife is so mad at STBX she could spit nails.
I told him that I felt replaced. He said that ow would never replace me in my kids hearts, that our bond it far to great.
He is very disappointed in STBX that he doesn't call the kids or visit on a regular basis. He said he will find a way to talk to him about that. Our friend is very family oriented. He was D many, many years ago. He has been with his 2nd wife over 25 years. He had custody of his kids and is a wonderful dad.
I know I'm not be explaining him well. But he is one of my favorite people. Very genuine and just an all around great guy. He would never do/say anything with the intention of hurting me. He was very encouraging to me he wants to see me & the kids happy again. He said he knows this has been a very trying 2 years for me. And I told him that it seems every time I start to feel good about myself again I get kicked in the teeth. He is very concerned with how this has affected us all. He did ask me how I am doing and encouraged me to seek counseling, for myself and the girls, at some point. He said it helped him so much. It really was a nice visit and he wanted to make sure that I know we are welcome to visit them anytime. I caught up on his family news.
Ooooo, I have to tell you. I had the BEST pancakes EVER. They were lemon ricotta pancakes with a blueberry compote. YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!
We had a very busy day. After our friend left we were home for about a half hour, then went to take D5 to Daisy (girl scouts) Day. While she was there D9 and I hit Starbucks and Target. (Thanks for calling me Liss!! Smooooooches to you!!!) Then picked up D5, home for 40 mins. then to a cheer get together. Home for 10 min. then to my sister and bil's for dinner. Whew, are we pooped!!! Kids snoozed on the way home and are sleeping in their clothes. lol.
Honestly, my STBX really annoys me with the way he treats the kids and especially the way he makes D9 feel. She should feel that her opinion counts and her ideas are heard and considered.
I have also decided to try and not compare myself to ow. She might look like a movie star (per D9), have loads of cash, a great job and be really nice. (why can't she be the typical cow of an ow??????)
But, I am in no way less of a person than she is. I might be fairly plain in looks and style, but I am a good person. I have morals and can give my kids love and support. I can work to help support my kids and they will learn from me that you do what you have to do, that sometimes things aren't just handed to you. They will never feel second best from me.
He said she was really very nice and very attentive to my kids. He did say that he realized some of that was probably for show but that it should comfort me a little that she was kind to my girls. I understand that and I am glad she is not mean to them. But still. 
