Peicing hurts like hell and is harder than...

[LoginName]

Oh Cat, you make me smile, and choke up a little. You give the best advice. Thank you.

Yes, thinking about you did influence my thinking, thinking of you and others - but not poison, I don't think.

I felt bad posting, my sitch is so much better than yours, than many here.

I have to tell you, even now, with my W saying she loves me and wants to be with me, I'm glad we are separated. She's in another state for her job. I'm enjoying being "alone" so much. I feel I am growing more now than for years.

My W and I were H.S. sweethearts. I've hardly dated. I've hardly lived alone. This is nice. I want to be with my W. I've decided I'll move in with her when my son finishes H.S., but I'll enjoy myself now :-)

thanks for the words on forgiveness. I wonder if she'll ever tell me what she was thinking/feeling during that time. I know she suffered in a way. I want to understand, and yet I don't want to know too much.

My best friend, who was and is such a support to me, had his partner do a WAS thing to him during my crisis. He broke all ties, moved on. I envied him and kept thinking that is what I should do. But he told me recently he envies me. I had the strength and the patients to see this through. But, I didn't do it for my R, or for her, I did it for me. Because I wanted to and because I knew that after what she did, nothing else could hurt me (much :-P).

You and your sitch give me hope and strength, especially if you do it for YOU. Your H is messed up. Your sitch may take a long time to work out, but I think you are moving in the right direction and doing what you need to do, not just for your M/R, but especially for you. And, that's the best chance your M/R has.

If you've read all my posts (you have, right? :-) ) You know I had an affair a few years ago (it hurts to admit that). I bring it up again because I think it gives me a little insight into your H and others. I saw the how senseless it was, and the OW was not insane, so things turned out better, but I still feel the guilt. It helps me empathise with my W to a point. It keeps me from being holier than thou. It is awful to break up with the OW.

She emailed me recently. What timing. She emailed about a week after my W had decided she loved me. One week and I would have probably responded to the email to see if me and the OW had any kind of future. I didn't respond. I hope she is well, but I can't respond. It would be wrong for her, me, and my w. Your H will hopefully reach that conclussion too, and soon.

The best thing he can do for his OW, for himself, is to cut off all contact with her. I pray he realizes that before it's too late, but I pray harder that you are happy and your kids are well. I feel sorry for him, but until he faces his problems, he doesn't deserve much help and he wouldn't take it anyway.

I've had a few glassess of wine tonight, I hope I'm not rambling, and that my spelling isn't too bad, and that my points are lucid.

Despite everything, it's a privilage to have been part of your life, to get to know you, and to share your burden as much as I can.

good night, cat.