Since filing for D last summer, H had been pushing to have the D finalized. For circumstances beyond either of our control, that has not happened. There has been one snafu after another, and a seemingly simple process has taken much longer than the 90 days required in our state. (I do believe that God works in mysterious ways, sometimes.) Then, in January, H made a bit of an about face, said he was in no hurry, and that "I needed his health insurance", which was partially true. I had been trying to get health insurance coverage through my work, and it wasn't going smoothly. I did offer, however, to pay the COBRA premiums until my insurance became effective, and he told me (in an e-mail... our way of communicating) that it would cost too much. I wrote and replied that the financial cost would hurt for a bit, but nothing compared to the heart hurt I live with. Then I proceeded to write the e-mail that prompted this thread. It was so R heavy that it would make a "normal" person puke, let alone someone who was trying to get a divorce! At the end of the e-mail, I promised that I would not write again. And I haven't. The only contact I have had with him was a phone call regarding the favor that I asked, almost two weeks ago. I saw him for a very brief period on the day of the favor. Since then, I have remained dark. And he has remained silent, as well.
But...I just found out that my health insurance coverage at work has become effective, so I should tell him that I have coverage at last. Technically, he can cancel my coverage under his policy. However, I went to the dentist last week, and have been prepped for a crown which will be seated during February. If he cancels my coverage now, I won't have that dental coverage, and I do NOT have the funds to pay for the crown. (They don't bill for the crown until it is seated.)
I want to be honest with H about the fact that my insurance is in effect, and I want to ask him to hold off on cancelling my coverage under his plan for another month. Holding off on cancelling my coverage also delays the D by another month. I don't know how he will feel about that.
But how do I do any asking when I am trying to be dark?
Also, he has a birthday in a few weeks. Do I ignore it? Send a card? Call him the day of? (I am afraid to call, since I am only supposed to have his work number, and his BD is on a holiday... so he may not be at work anyway. I DO have his cell number because it is in our divorce papers, but I have never called him at that number.)
