Peicing hurts like hell and is harder than...

[cat03]

I was afraid of this, of my sitch poisoning other's hopes, I dare to say I'm the exception rather than the rule, my own MIL believes my H should be commited or something, he has serious mental issues, so keep that in mind toots, your W was callous but not mental.

Have I forgiven her? Should I? Does she need to face what she did?

Forgive her not because she deserves it, she doesn't, forgive her because she has turned around and is trying to do things right.

Should I talk to her about this and ask her what she felt, feels? Maybe I'm assuming things I shouldn't, assuming what her feelings and thoughts are. Maybe she has suffered.

If you try to get into your W's head and make ass-umptions, you will always make negative ones, the picture will never be good. I for one would approach her & say that you would like to understand her state of mind at that moment (because obviously she's moved on and is not the same person).
Chances are, during her brief insanity she thought she was doing alright, that the kids were taking care of and that was the extent of her thinking of them, the rest of the time she just thought of herself...AT THE TIME.

Did I thank you enough for your support? whenever my MIL or the other 3 people who know the full sitch tell me how strong I'm being I credit God and I credit you guys, who've been my lifeline, just wanted to let you know .