so, for those of you who've had a spouse that has had an affair, or just a WAS, what do you think, how much do you want to know? What do you ask the WAS?
After an affair, do you need to know what they did, what they thought, why she/he did it? Does it help to know?
Do you need to know that they aren't having an A now? Does it really help to see their phone bills, records, etc? (If they want to, they can cheat and lie no matter how much you track them, right?)
My guess is, that it doesn't matter. Either you trust or you don't. They can lie either way. My question is two fold: 1) in general (or specific to you, dear reader) how much do you need and want to know? 2) Is there some processing, process, that is important to go through for the LBS to get over IT and to move on and is that process helped by Knowing more? What is fair game to discuss with you spouse, when he/she comes back?
Full disclosure: my opinion is you need to know next to nothing. The less you know the better. If you find yourself thinking about the OP, stop! It's not acting "as If" nothing happened, it's knowing that it's not the important part of the whole sitch. Comments?
M45, W45,S15, D10, Bomb 10/3/06, Moved back in 11/6/06, finally ILY 9/07 last thread
