How do you undo detachment?

[cat03]

haven't I've been a horrible example enough? don't you see that I'm in hell because my H never fully disengaged from ow and went back w/me the first time because he was tired of being lonely?

(I tried to call him quite a few times last night and sent him a long text which he said he deleted so I re-sent it this morning) and told me that he went back to her place because he didn't want to be alone and he couldn't come back here.

You are pursuing him and he's just acting his shoe size. Stop calling him so much, same w/the texts, look, I know its hard, I have to force myself to stop txting my H and waiting like a lost puppy for his call, for my own good I must detach. Don't let him disrespect you like this.

I want to demand that he break up with g/f in order for me to give him a chance for us.

I also demanded, TOLD my H to stop seing ow. And my C told me that was my mistake, it should've been my H who should've said he'd stop all contact, the fact that I demanded it of him didnt mean he was agreeing to it. Of course you should let him know that as long as he is with ow you dont' see things working for you all, but the final desicion has to come from him.

I've also been thinking with my , ummm, lady part down there, so desperate to be intimate w/my H, so scared of not having my H ML to me that I didnt' want to let him go even if it was for the best (I have since accepted that S is the way to go in my sitch).
Your H has his cake and is eating it too, the gf on the side and he also gets to ML with you, why should he do anything different? what should he change? he gets everything served for him on a silver platter.

I think I have talked to too many ppl and my h will have a hard row to hoe (to quote SallyM) to have my friends accept him with open arms.

Choose one or two and that's it, I havent' even told my family, only one friend from work, 2 from church and you guys know, things would go to heck so fast if I were to tell all my saga (not to mentioned my close family would never want to see my H again and would want to dismember alive)