Well crap, leave it to my sponsor to kick my shorts a good one.
After asking him to show an hour early to go over the sitch. We go through the whole thing, I talk about DB'ing, which he knows what it is, and I quote "So let me get this straight, I'm a victim, I'm a victim, I'm a victim." Lol.
So he goes on to say, (this is all sponsor and me paraphrasing) W has your settlment agreement, it's open ended time wise so she could sign anytime and the M is over. She hasn't and will when she is ready if she ever is. Well your mad because of her behavior but you created this sitch with your booze. She is doing what she is doing to get attention from you, she wants you to D her, to do anything, just show attention in some way. Unfortunetly, if you do D her, you won't fix anything with her, I guarantee you will only make matters worse. A piece of paper won't help you coparent if that is where this goes. You can't control her and she may do it, so be it. But your doing nothing of the sorts. Sorry but your a pro drinker, you've proven that, but a poor lifer. You can't deal with the day to day rigors of what life tosses at you, so you have to learn that life isn't easy, and leave it to God. So your 180 will be to do nothing, but be nice, and be an excellent father. Your priorities are one, no drinking, two, your S. Three, possibly your M, but I would say it's your work for now. Then fourth your W. So lets keep that perspective. Your 180 will be to treat her kind, be nice, but not to get walked on. Give her attention only in a positive manner.
Then he goes on to say that she knew I was an alcoholic before she married me, especially if she is a drug and alcohol C'er. Says she needs Alanon, and that people that marry us are generally screwy as well. So he says she has to deal with her own crap and I just need to be supportive and continue to act M for myself and my S, but don't bother with what W does. Only point to the positives, and let the rest be.
This will show what type of person W really is. If she comes around, figures her crap out and gets into Alanon then you two are supposed to take care of this child as a family. If she keeps with her behaviors and doesn't change eventually you will be in the way enough she will D you, and that is the right thing. But you let her do it. You stay out of the way of that, and let your attorney handle it.
So that is it in a nutshell. I have to stop trying to control everything and let God do his will. W will do what she wants, and I have to keep the ducks back and learn how to cope, and let go of control. So I guess no confrontation tomorrow.
