Confessions of a Supermom - JennyF's 4th thread

[JennyF]

" this is the most stupid, cruel, paranoid situation I am going to face in my life, it's just doesn't make sense".

But it will pass...

Kalni...
I've really been thinking a lot like this myself today. Every now and then I find myself sitting there going, "it's just too unbelievable to imagine...and it's going to get worse!!!". Hence the parnoia you spoke about...
Seriously, how is it possible that my life went from perfectly sane and happy to THIS practically over night! (H wouldn't say it was over night, but since he didn't choose to share with me his thoughts over the last couple years, for me it was overnight).
I mean my pregnancy was planned for crying out loud! blindsided & MO2, I can only imagine how you must feel having gone through fertility.
Then I look at my D and my heart breaks for her. I'm watching a 3 year old's personality change before my eyes. What I swore would never happen to my kids is happening and I can see it affecting her. It's killing me. How can H not see what he is doing to her? And I can't say a thing. Not only because it would break DB rules, but mostly because it just won't help.
I pray to God every day (a few times a day!) that he will help H realize what he is doing to the kids. I pray that it isn't in God's plan to put my children through this.
H may look at me like a stranger right now, but how he can really follow through with this when our children are so young is dispicible.
What will it take for him realize? I'm beginning to wonder if there is anything that could shake him out of this... short of CFB breaking it off with him. SO, I pray to God to help her (CFB) find happiness and fulfillment in her life WITHOUT my H.


My H finally said he is ready to talk about the schedule. He wants to sit down Monday night after the kids are in bed to discuss it.
I sent him an e-mail regarding our bank account and said "maybe we can talk about this on Monday too."
He e-mailed me back and said this only..."finances definitely need to be discussed".
Now the paranoia sets in. I'm expecting him to come at with the some legal stuff, perhaps serving me with a separation agreement. I don't know why, and I think I've mentioned it before that I think he is up to something. We'll see.
Again, I gotta say it...is this really happening to me??
WTF?
J~