I want to keep up the momentum I'd built up with meeting her once a week but I do not want to squander the DB capital I've built up of "validating" and "detaching". I don't want to go back to "darkness" but I want to engage W on a regular basis without being "pursuing". So what do I do?
Stop thinking about her and focus on you and the kids.
An example from my sitch: In July, I did not see my W for a month except for 2 days when I brought the kids to see her and her sister. I only talked to her when she had the kids and then only to ask to speak with them. This allowed me the opportunity to truly detach and get some clarity.
I sense that you need a similar break from your stressful sitch so that you can see things in a new light.
My $.02 - take the month of Feb. off from thinking about her or your M. Focus on you and the kids EXCLUSIVELY. What's the worst that can happen? If she moves on completely in this period, she was going to move on any way.
What's the best that could happen? You could get some clarity and set some priorities for yourself. Rediscover what brings fb2 joy in his life! Remember what it is like to be alive! Make some new memories with his kids! Remind himself that he does not NEED his W to be happy!
Sorry for the bluntness. Hope it is taken the way it is meant, with a caring heart.
SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
