Just updating. Pretty intense night the other night. WAW came over to the house and we had a nice dinner, steering clear of R talk. Finally after I cleared dishes, she started talking about our MC session.
Too much was said to write here, but we talked about EVERYTHING, and went from talking to crying to laughing to yelling to just sitting and holding each other while being silent. Felt good to get it all out. I was emotionally drained the next day.
WAW started out seeing M in absolute negatives and ended by asking how I could put up with someone as confused as her, that she felt she had a fatal flaw, and asking if she was able to fulfill me.
Early on I said that I'd be willing to work on M, but it would mean absolutely no contact with OM, which is going to be difficult because she's supposed to be on a big project with him. She said she realized that. She also said that she hated being attracted to him, realized it would never be long-term and couldn't understand how she could throw away what she had when she realized this was the case. Then she asked if I'd ever been attracted to anyone. I told her of course, finding someone attractive is only human, but that doesn't mean you jump into bed with them.
I admitted my shortcomings, but gave examples of what I was doing to change them, if not for the good of our R than for moving on. She kept saying she was sorry. Then she said she'd like to go to same C on her own to talk about the problems she'd brought into M. She also said she didn't feel like she could handle the day to day of living together again, and I said I wasn't sure I wanted her to move back into the house. That made her look at me.
So all in all a positive step. At first I felt like she was ready to reconcile. After a good sleep I realized we're still a long way away from that - this is just one step.
