I guess the feeling that I have about it is that he could do this again in the future and he would just think that since I was willing to take him back this time I would do it again. Does that make sense? Yes Michelle, I thought we were extremely happy. I know everyone says OW is a symptom of problems but I just don't see it that way in this case. I really don't. He never expressed any unhappiness before meeting her. We went out on a regular basis, we ML a lot, we met for lunch all the time, we loved spending time together. A week before the phone calls with OW started we went out and H was going on and on about how he loved being married to me and didn't know what he would do without me, blah, blah, blah. He told me how happy he was and how much he loved me. It was very genuine.
I did get a couple of kisses today, and he even said that he liked that but he just didn't want me to read too much into it. I think he does feel a connection through being physical. I told him that I didn't mean to pressure him or push but I just didn't know how to act around him. He said he didn't feel at all pressured by me. He said AT ALL. He said he totally understands my questions but he doesn't feel right asking me to wait for him while he sorts things out. I told him to let me decide how long I want to wait. He did say he felt like he was cake eating by telling me that he wasn't sure what he wanted but at the same time saying he didn't want a D.
I think I can separate the emotions from ML. Although he did say he was back on his ADs (which I see as a good thing), and that would hinder him ML.
To look at the positives for one, the kisses. Another one is that he wants to take me out for my B'day. He said he wanted it to be extra special. He even asked if I would be able to get off work early because we may have to travel a little. Really wanted to know what day I could do it, said he would need to make reservations. Seems like he is putting a lot of effort into it. I don't think the R talk set us back in his eyes today...just kind of hurt me. I am trying not let him see that though.
