I just realized that my thread locked--and by my own hand! I haven't had to create a new thread in ages--hope I remember how. Here's the link to my old thread: The universe works in mysterious ways X
Things are OK with me--no big news. I watched "Waitress" last night--great movie, but parts of it were difficult for me to watch. I think I 've been in a funk for a few wekks, and when Keri Russel's character said that she was happy to have someone who thought what she said was important, I burst into tears. There have been a few times on this journey when H has been talking about something and then he's stopped and said, "If you/ someone were talking to me about something this much, I'd be wishing you/they would just shut up." Needless to say, I had a hard time sharing a lot of things with him for a while. I believe that this was par t of the MLC script and part of his insecruity, etc., but hearing someone else, albeit a fictional character, say what I want and don't have right now was an unexpected heart dart. I'm over it now, but I wanted to write about it here for a future reminder: this is what I want and need from a partner, whether it's H or not.
I have also decided to join a gym. I don't weigh anymore than I ever have, but I'll be 39 in Mrch, and things are starting to ...redistribute. I'm joining a gym where some of my work freidns go--it's on the way to and from school, so I can go right after work, and they have classes that I don't have to pay extra for, like yoga. I bought some workout clothes at Ross the other day and now I need to get shoes. I am not an exercise person, but I'm doing this so I can look my best for myself.
Here's a nice thing that happened: the other night H was over and we ML. Afterwards, he stayed in bed with me for a long time, letting me rub his head and back. Then he skooched over right against me and said he was cold. He wanted to be held and snuggled. THIS IS MY OLD H! I couldn't believe it! What a sweet interlude.
