Newbie needs advice with MLC wife

[familyman dave]

Hey Jack - Thanks for all the responses. Good info. I'm slowly learning.

ok what is your goal? Is the time together good for YOU or difficult. Doesn't matter what else you think it is impacting. If you feel good about it then continue, if it is painful for you then stop.

I feel good spending time with her. The hesitancy from me -wrong in 2 ways - trying to predict the future & because maybe I'm afraid of getting hurt more (what a wimp). Gotta look at those few hours as just that, spending a nice 1 or 2 hours with her

There are certain ways of crossing a minefield that work. And people here can tell you those ways.
You are going to have to find out what works for you, as you clear your own field, and it is a very slow process.

I gotta be patient and keep my perspective. Just don't want to make any serious mistakes

From experience...not having the support of her family, or children...that is not a good thing, right or wrong, that is going to REALLY hurt her

Our kids are grown and I've tried to tell them to keep the communication with her open. If they are angry let her know , but keep talking. As I am painfully learning, you can't make anyone do anything until they are ready. They are not happy with her. Nor are her sister and mom. The consequences are going to be what they are going to be. At least my older daughter is talking more with her.


"Today is not the day you quit, and you will not quit tomorrow, but lets see what tomorrow brings."

Gonna print this and keep a copy in my wallet. Inspiring!!

Everytime you feel hurt suck it up. Pain tells you your alive and anything you conqueor makes you stronger than that thing.

I regret none of this, it hurts and it is painful, but I am awake, and I know what I want.

The pain makes me never take anything for granted again. I was just coasting thru life. No more. Wasn't holding up my end of the R. I would never have stopped to take a look at things if this hadn't happened. Still a lot to learn and figure out.