Thanks again. I'm really glad I found someone like you to help and I can only hope that I'll be able to pass it on to others in the future.
I am finding it very hard to stay out of this emotionally and act like I don't care. I know the best thing to do is to distance myself is to step back, but you are right, it is excruciating!
I'll continue to work on being consistent, acting "as if" she wants to see me and be with me, always put on my "happy face" in public, and dote on my daughter. I know the DB book says to be mysterious with your schedule and whereabouts, etc., but I'm having trouble with that one. It seems so dishonest to me. However, if it is what I need to do, I'll do it.
I'll definitely take your advice and not address the drinking, but I also won't enable it. Good words to follow.
For now, I need to be confident and consistent around her which is definitely harder than it sounds. Thanks for the words.
The real test comes tonight as I head home from a week in Washington, DC with some students. She told me last night she didn't love me any more and she was really pissed at me right now for the past, my anger, my spying, you name it. I'll have roughly 4 hours to get my mind ready to not discuss us and act "as if" she is elated to get me home. I've done some acting in the past, but I think this is without a doubt the most challenging role I'll ever be asked to play.
SPM, in the past day or so, you have been an invaluable resource and friend to me and I can't thank you enough. I'm looking forward to continuing our conversations and support after I get home.
If you ever want to e-mail me you can reach me at regwinn@msn.com. Also, if you ever get to Arizona, your first multiple beers are on me!
