Great thread. Sorry - can not really add much, but I just wanted to indicate that you seem to have a pretty good grasp on this stuff. Additionally, your sitch is very similar to mine - ages, OM, snooping, etc..

However, my W moved out last Feb, while you still live together - correct?


Me: 48
Ex-W: 45
M: Nov '96, together since Oct 93
Bomb: on 10-yr anni - Nov '06
OM
Separated: mid-Feb '07
Divorced mid-July '08
One daughter - 28
XW living w/OM