Thank you for the replies and I think I am going to post a thread this morning.
I read both of your responses and I agree totally and will be careful on the moving out situation for sure. Also, the athletic analogies really hit home. Who else but a former jock would be able to understand stress, pressure, and performance? Thanks for the great visuals and the trip down memory lane when things were pretty good.
As for Mid-Life Crisis, I'm pretty sure it is one for my wife because even though she is only 37, she had a MAJOR life change last May which is when all of this started for us.
My wife has battled Endometriosis since she hit puberty and in May she had a hysterectomy which left her feeling "broken" (her words). I'm convinced this has thrown her into an early MLC because she told me in August she didn't love me any more, that I was an awful husband, she lost 15 pounds, changed her wardrobe completely, and started the emotional affair (with passionate kissing, but no sex) with the man at work.
For my part, what I've done since August is get my rear into counselling and began to work on myself and saving the marriage. However, I will admit it took me a LONG time (2 1/2 months) to stop blaming her and looking closely at me. I really started to get serious when I discovered the emotional and physical affair.
Since that time, we've been on a roller coaster where one day I'm in good standing and the next day I'm a reincarnation of Satan. The inconsistency, the affair and my wife's massive consumption of wine on a daily basis have kept me off balance and kept her from facing facts.
Now, I'm just going through my peaks and valleys and trying to read everything I can about my issues, our issues, and hers. I'm pretty convinced it is MLC just by all the signs, but who really knows?
I've read the DR book and I have it dog-eared and underlined for quick and easy reference.
As I mentioned above, I'm going to start my own thread today, but I'd really enjoy continuing to swap stories with you, if you don't mind. I know I'm new to the game and unfortunately you have been playing for longer, but in the short time I've received correspondence from you, it has made sense and helped my thought process along with steeling my resolve.
