Expert, well I do know the material, practicing it is the hard part. I definitely backslide WAY TO MUCH. Honestly because we have kids and the types of involved parents we are has kept us in constant daily contact the entire time. Rarely has a day gone by that we didn't speak. Now I wish I had gone dark in that regard because I think it's created unseen pressure and I realize exactly how it happened.
I do believe she's now done based on some things that have happened since Tuesday and really this month. She's just not taken the next step and had the papers drawn up. I've been struggling with this all week. As for Tuesday night I think I just heard what I wanted to hear, read into it what I wanted to see. All the while she was just being nice to me, not trying to hurt my feelings. That makes me wonder that she really does know how hard she's broken my heart and just trying to avoid those feelings for both of us? Trying not to hurt me any more and hurt herself? Can guilt be an ally in this situation?
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
