When your W has started rambling on about OM, have you ever said to her (in a confident manner, without changing the tone, level, etc.) that you really do not want to know about OM?
Yeah, I did that pretty early on - Went over like a lead balloon. She already knows I don't approve of their friendship, but complaining about it isn't going do much other than frustrate her because of my 'jealously' or whatever... She has made a few comments in the past about how she knows I don't approve of some of her friends, but she finds it hard making friends with girls. Probably 90% of her friends are guys, and I don't have a problem with all but one of them - W is defiantly not a 'girlie girl', so she won't be going out shopping with other girls on the weekend and stuff. Considering we've been separated for a while, I'm not sure why she'd be so concerned with who I 'approve' of or not.
The strange thing is that when she talks to me about OM, she talks in absolute negatives - Last night on the way to dinner she was complaining about how he messed up his car and that she didn't want to know the details because it would piss her off - I think when I hear about it, she is reconnecting with reality, although it's short lived. I suspect without working through the 'real' parts of the problem, she'd just float around in her little world all the time.
I think deep down she realizes how ridiculous it is - She made mention to how the way she behaves with him around makes her act like 'a fool' and that she really isn't doing healthy things for herself. She has a really hard time putting this whole thing behind her - She'll get annoyed, not talk to him for a week, then end up right back where she started. You'd think that'd get old eventually, but apparently not.
I really should have taken the opportunity on Monday when she was talking about how guys confuse her to drop a few hints that I know what is really going on with OM - I didn't at the time, since I wanted to see how much she would tell me on her own. Some people might disagree with me, but I figure the more she talks about it, the more obvious the idiocy of it all may come to the surface. Ironically, when we talked about it, she actually agreed with me about almost all points where I offered my input. Even if she REALLY believed me and herself, I doubt she would really act on it.
