peace: I think part of the problem is that we are looking for signs of changes on a weekly, or even a daily basis. It's as effective as trying to figure out how much taller our children have grown each day. I agree about listening to our hearts. What OF said is perfectly logical, but my instinct tells me to hold on. I never said I'll do this forever, so I'll hold on for now until I feel like I've given it my all. I don't see myself doing this beyond this year (or even this summer). About saying wrong things to kids, it's difficult to make WASs out to be faultless because we are also the ones responsible for teaching our kids right from wrong. The resentment will seep through and the kids will pick up on it. My S is only 5 and he's already making such comments. I don't make direct comments about H, but I also know that S5 is smart enough to figure out the message I'm telling him when I make certain comments.

Seeing H yesterday - I've been trying to figure out how I feel about him. He's no longer that physically attractive to me. And his character has become even more unattractive to me. Maybe my defense mechanisms are kicking in big time.

I dreamt about H. I was driving, H was in the back seat. He mentioned something about ogre. I turned around and asked him how that was going. He kind of laughed it off. Wouldn't say much more until I turned around again to drive. Then said that it wasn't what I thought - something like he didn't feel for her what he did for me. In the dream, ogre was actually H's ex-GF (who used to model - much prettier than ogre, by far). At the end, offered to let me drive a car that belonged to his father that nobody was allowed to drive.

So here's my interpretation:
Me driving, H in back - I'm in control, not him.
Not looking at me - still a coward, not able to face me, but getting more comfortable talking about it
His feelings for ogre - Maybe what I believe about her meaning less to him than he thinks is true. Or maybe just wishful thinking.
Offering his father's car - H still cares about, respects and trusts me, but also still offering things that are not his...empty promises.

Overall, the feeling was that we still had a connection. There was no anger. And my feelings about the situation were confirmed to be correct. Good, I guess, but also just a silly dream. Anyone else wanna take a stab at it?