Please help me!! My wife wants out!

[Lanzo]

Steve,

I'll chip in as well.

If you've read the DR book you will read that you need to approach the whole situation with a beginners mind, so the current Ideas that you have about mending your sitch will need to be tossed aside and you will need to take a new approach.

How will that be ? well the first things is, although you love your wife, it does come across although you are obsessing about sex. (Sorry but that's how it comes across). When we get into these situations where our S wants out of the M the first thing to go is sex, and it's usually the last to return. So for now I think you need to prioritise on becoming a good friend to your W and showing her you have the potential to be a great Dad. (Errr... Forget about the sex for now)

But you say you were having sex before OM, well I would put it down to pressure on W (Sorry) she said 70% fake. Maybe it was 100%, I don't know only she could tell. You also said it's 3 weeks since you last had sex with W, well some of us on this board are still trying to reconnect with our S after 3, 6 even 12 months so believe me 3 weeks in not a long time.

So I'll finish with the quote from transformer.

The very first steps, I think, are:

1. take a deep breath
2. step back
3. re-orient your point of view....

To which I'll add

4. Focus on friendship
5. Focus on fatherhood
6. Focus on you

Oh, I just remembered no more talk about OM unless she brings him up. Actually there are a few other things but I think you'll need to read the Divorce Remedy book first.