....Trying to give her more space. I do ask about the OM in a conversational way, how was he today etc... Is that bad?
Hello Steve.
Have you bought and read Michele's DR book? If not, buy it and read it. Things are Hell for you right now. Most people on this board are going through their own versions of that Hell.
"Space" really is a difficult concept too understand, especially in the beginning. By asking about OM or anything...whatever way...you are probably not helping to give her "space".
As someone said, you really need to take the focus off your W and put it on yourself. This is really difficult at first, but it gets easier. Fix yourself first.
The one positive thing you can do with your W when the opportunities come is listen....listen....really listen. Don't argue, don't fight, don't say what you believe is right or wrong. Just grit your teeth and listen.....and then.....validate. Read up about that. Validate. It is something I keep missing the opportunity to do.
While you are doing all this....look happy as well. Do a search on this board on the "As if" technique. That really works.
Sorry mate, that you have found yourself in this situation. Start to focus on yourself and things will get better.
Me 44 W 39 M 10yrs (together 13 years) one D 8 ILYBINILWY Feb 2007 Separated - 5th September 07
Will get there in the end. Will get there in the end 2.
