(((HUGS))) lwb, I'm so sorry. but seriously, I know how hard this is to do (trust me, I know), but take your concentration off of him and put it onto you. no, you don't know where he is. and that is a frustrating, horrible place to be. but its also fruitless to try to figure out. he says he thinks you need (gag) a divorce, but he also has NOT filed, and has NOT proceeded, and has actually stopped you (or hindered, or ignored) you when you have tried to move on (like the separation of finance).
he's an idiot who doesn't know what he wants. not only that, but he isn't putting any real effort into figuring out what that is. he's coasting right now. my opinion, but that's what it feels like to me. feel free to tell me to stfu, etc, or that I am wrong here.
the only thing you can do is take care of you and your girls. that's it. you can't do this for him, don't try. its like talking to a rebellious child...the more you try to convince them of something, the less they will hear. you've seen it with my situation this week. I am not saying we are on a new path, not even close, but look at how freaking long it has taken for h to even say maybe he needs therapy, maybe this is wrong, maybe, maybe, maybe. its been a long road, lwb.
keep your patience, but keep your boundaries, too. those are good and healthy for you, and they send a signal to him, too. there is a fine line between db'g and doormat, but its a definite line and you do NOT need to be a doormat in order to db. yes, you need to pick your battles, but I sure has hell don't think you are asking for too much here.
(((HUGS)))
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
