Hey I was once in your shoes, shell-shocked really. Not knowing where to turn. I turned to DBing pretty late in the game, actually. So you are doing very well if you are already here.
Let me tell you something: you will slip up repeatedly. You should know that right now. You ever play basketball? hockey? Football? You mess up constantly. In a rare moment, you do exactly what you want to do, you make the play you envision in your head. It's perfect. But it's rare. On most plays, pretty much every play, you don't do it perfectly. You mess up. You mishandle the dribble. You don't block the guy you're supposed to block. You strike out. And then? You get up and try again.
That's what DBing might be like for you. And because it is no new to you, you just started, and you are in a very stressful situation, you're likely to not get it perfect at first, to say the least. The key thing is to not get down on yourself. Stick to the principles. Stick to what works. And keep trying. Never give up. Never lose hope. Stay patient.
I found, in the beginning, it was helpful to remind myself every morning of what I wanted to do. I'd read a little thing every morning reminding me to stay detached, stay calm, stay patient.
You too will find the formula that works for you.
Why is patience so important? Because your wife will behave in ways that confuse you. Because you will mess up. Because external factors will interfere (other man, relatives, etc). Because it's just darn hard and rocky road. So patience with yourself and your spouse is critically important.
As to EXACTLY what you should do? I don't know, because I don't really know your situation. BUT, if you want to get some interaction, I suggest you start a thread, maybe in the newcomers forum, describe what's happening. Then ask some specific questions.
Of course I'm happy to swap stories with you right here.
Do you think it is MLC? What makes you say so?
Did you read the DR book?
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
