Confusion of a WAW (Thread 6)

BritInOH, Your sitch seems to be much less severe than mine. But it is indeed complex/confusing: a WAW who wants you to move back in with her but she's still carrying on with OM, she's got low self-esteem and she's depressed. I don't know what to make of it but I haven't read every one of your posts either.

There are a lot of posts - I wouldn't expect most people to be able to keep up with it all. W certainly has low self-esteem and is very depressed. I'm not sure how much of her depression is related to OM, and how much is just 'general life'. I'm sure she'd probably be able to do a lot better without OM weighing her down, but we all know how that goes....

But it may be worth finding out just what part OM plays - as Kerry asks what is he supplying her that you aren't (he's not good looking, he's not smart, ...), is it a PA/EA?

I would defiantly categorize it as an EA - I know for sure it's not a PA, even though W has had opportunities to be along with OM.

IS there something she perhaps is not getting from you that you could easily provide if only you knew? Would the approaches to dealing with depression/mental-illness along the lines in DR help - maybe you've already tried?

I think OM just happened to be someone who gave her positive attention when she was feeling pretty alone. W gets very attached to people, so I think even though it's an obviously unhealthy relationship, she still likes the attention she gets from him. 36yr old mom getting attention from a 21yr old guy - Even if it's bad attention, it's probably still an ego boost for her. Of course, it seems to be doing the complete opposite and just pushing her into further depression.