I'm glad you find it helpful. Here are some others that I used, and some that I saved in case I ever needed them. Some will need to be adapted to fit:
TRUTH DARTS:
-I will not hide your affair. -I will not financially support your affair. -It's your mess, you clean it up. -Send her an email with STD statistics, no other comments. -Secrets kill marriages. -You are being played. - Your current behavior is not helping the children. - "No contact" means "no contact". Working in close quarters with someone who's admitted being attracted to you, and vice-versa, is inappropriate in a HEALTHY marriage. It's absolutely DESTRUCTIVE in one that's on the rocks! - How will you be able to counsel your daughters one day if they're having problems? To cut and run? To have an affair? - You are placing your friend before your husband, and your friendship before your marriage. - Forget ME for a moment; you are not going to like yourself someday if you keep going down this path. - (S14) and (S11) need you more than ever.
IF SHE TRIES "R" TALK:
DON'T argue past points with her. Simply state the truth of today.
- She is having an affair.
- It is impossible to analyze issues with the marriage as along as she is having an affair.
- You can't analyze a relationship where one partner is making unilateral decisions to bring a third person into the relationship.
- Betrayal is an intensely painful action for one person to inflict on another.
Trying, DON'T OVERDO these. It's a truism that "you can't teach an infidel" -- they are in NO mood to hear it and to learn from you. But you CAN get little "darts" in here and there, especially if they are aligned with what the wayward person's core values are (or at least WERE, before the affair).
