My wife keeps talking about "one of us needs to move out" and I'm not going anywhere. I'll take the cue from you, my man. I am very sorry you are no longer at home, but your words have helped out some of us here who are in the same messed up place.
My wife keeps saying she feels smothered and has had some of the same complaints as yours (I was controlling, abusive, a bad husband and father, etc.). She even has done the BS like your wife with the OM ("he really gets me" and "we really have a connection"). I feel your pain and I feel your story is a lot like mine, my friend.
Hang in there and know you've emboldened me to tell my wife that she can be the one who moves out if she really needs the space, because I don't need "space" so I ain't movin'.
