You have it backwards. The fog isn't going to clear until she ends all contact, and even then you're looking at 3 weeks of HARD withdrawal, and 3-6 months until TOTAL withdrawal.
You don't wait for the fog to clear to make the speech. You make the speech to hopefully impress upon her the importance of ending all contact, which will in turn clear the fog.
Make sense??
Your opportunities for "shots" will come, don't worry. And don't dismiss the idea of just throwing little "truth darts" at her. A truth dart is a BRIEF, true statement that you make to pierce thru the fog and land a hit, even if you don't get the response you want (you won't).
An example might be, you walk into the room where she is, and quietly say "You know honey . . . I wonder if you've thought about -- really thought about -- how destructive it's been to unilaterally decide to invite another man into our marriage."
And then you leave the room.
Or,
"Someday I hope you'll see the pain you're causing with the selfish choice you're making."
Or when there's kids involved,
"You know, I've been wondering something. Have you considered that THIS is the lesson you'll be teaching your kids, about how to handle problems in their life -- to cheat and run away from them?"
