Tough moments. I am so exhausted from trying to GAL, and for giving the W SOOOOO much space and trying not to care about it.
I have depended on my W for so many years to be my emotional partner, best friend, everything. Now it is almost all gone and there is a huge hole in my life. All the joys and pains I have that I want to share with her, I can't. I just have to pretend to be "just fine" if not better. I am really trying to be new-and-improved for ME and me alone, but it damn sure is lonely. I will be as patient as I can be, but I want my best friend and life partner back now. Man it stinks to have all that ripped away like this. All because of a stupid A. I am sad, and I am mad at the same time.
I can be so upbeat and strong and think I am going to be fine, but then I get hit with a wave of disgusting reality and the possible life ahead, and it makes me very very sad.
Besides this one tough moment, I think it has been an OK day for me.
Got to keep dumping my feelings out here. I think it is helping.
