I am glad I'm finally able to get on-line because I'm in a lot of trouble. My wife of 7 1/2 years (we have a 4 1/2 year old daughter) is going through a mid-life crisis where she has changed her wardrobe, lost weight, looks great and is involved in an emotional affair with a man at work.
I discovered their affair in early November as they had been flirting at work and exchanging e-mails about the sexual fantasies they wanted to play out with each other. I'd even found out they had passionately kissed on several occasions, but never had sex. It got to the point where they were discussing leaving their marriages for each other.
Naturally, I was devistated and I spent a lot of time ranting, crying, begging, and chasing. I finally stopped blaming and worked on my own issues. Since the end of November, I've come a long way, but my wife is still texting and interacting with this guy. She says they're just friends, and I've told her that every time she communicates with him she is putting a knife in my heart.
We did ok for a while, but this past two weeks she's pulled back away. She now says she is no longer in love with me. It hurts and I've been trying this week to pull a 180, but I failed miserably tonight.
Tonight when she called, I listened to her speak, but then I started talking about me. I told her I was going to fight because I needed to be able to tell our daughter I did everything I could to save our marriage and family. I told her divorce screws up all kids and I won't screw up my daughter like my parents did to me if I can help it.
I told my wife she'd have to be the one who tells our daughter she refused couples' counseling and refused to end her affair. I told her I wasn't going to throw in the towel until every stone and then some had been turned in an effort to save the marriage.
I went on with my feelings, but I knew it was the wrong thing to do if I'm trying to pull a 180. She is pissed at me and blaming me and saying she doesn't know if she can forget the past.
I think it is all BS, but I can't tell her. Did my actions tonight screw me for the long haul, or is this a bump in the road? I need some guidance desperately as I don't know what to do and I don't want it to be too late.
PLEASE HELP ME! I'm so scared and alone here and I'm terrified that by talking about me and confronting her on issues I've screwed my long-term chances.
