can we, using the SSM or some other approach, ever reach a state with each other that is relatively free of sex-starved suffering and angst?
Absolutely! Here are your choices (note: these are MY own, patented, approaches, and in no way connected with the SSM approach) (Oh, and I was just kidding about the patent....):
Choice 1: Destruction of your genitalia by mechanical, biological, chemical, or other traumatic method, rendering even the thought of sex a living nightmare of horrific pain, leaving you writhing in agony and deaf from your own screams. (Note: to reduce the chance of any resentment, such destruction should be in no way connected to any action by your loved one, e.g. by her hand, or by her verbal guidance to an accomplice, etc.)
Choice 2: Brain transplant (in wife). Choice 3: Chemical enhancement of wife's libido. Unfortunately this only works when the loved one has no libido, generally, as opposed to most cases, when the actuality of the matter is much more painful (although not as painful as Choice 1, above): your loved one has no libido when it comes to the thought of having sex with YOU. Sorry, but I warned you it was painful. Choice 4: Loved one finally gets the message, realizes how important physical intimacy is to you, and, in her decision to meet your needs, re-discovers her own sexuality, enjoys it, and enthusiastically begins the journey with you toward sexual self-awareness, deep and meaningful intimacy, mutual esteem, and, dare I say it, genuine love. And Michigan Man, this choice is easier than any of the others because all it requires is a strong sense of self-delusion, an unshakable belief in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, a pinch of ear-wax from a real leprechaun, mixed up in a potion of dragon urine and unicorn poop.
Sorry, but I warned everyone that I was feeling extra cynical today.
Here's the secret: It's not about sex. Here are some clues about what is really at issue, from your own words:
Quote:
lovingly discussed and gave book to wife, she essentially blew it off. . .latent hurt/anger has sometimes bubbled out of HD me in the form of chilly remarks which really don't help things. . . Wife is convinced that I have problem with over-obsessiveness with sex . . . She truly cannot believe that two people who really love each other could ever really split up simply because of such a trivial thing as a large imbalance in their level of sexual desire . . . she rather reluctantly offered to have sex as often as I'd like, if that's what it takes, though she made it somewhat clear she would not be enjoying it.
I added some italics to point out some words that, to me, are significant.
By the way, just to be clear, you're both responsible for the current state of your marriage.
Also, think about this: why would you want to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you? And, if sex is so important to you, why aren't you having it?
Hairdog, who's about to leave for home, so don't expect any further responses until Monday.
