Oh, another thing about MB, that many on here don't like is that he advocates exposing the affair to anyone and everyone and in places where your H will feel swift repercussions.

I did that in my case and my H lost his job. Did I cause him to lose his job? Some would argue yes, I say that I didn't his affair did I just brought it about quicker than it would have happened otherwise.

I am a firm believer in exposing an affair to the light of day. Many disagree. I still think that affairs are mostly a fantasy that are built up in our spouses heads to be the greatest thing ever. The finding of their soulmate, the relationship to end all relationships. They start out in secret and they are exciting. They get to meet in hotels and restaurants and they are always on their best behavior etc etc.

When they are outed then they have to start living life. Real life. Day to day with each other and many times (not all) they find out that that other person is not all they thought they were in their secret little affair world.

Many times I think we have to let them go further into an affair for them to be able to eventually come back out of it.

Just my thoughts. I know many will disagree.

BFM

There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.
David Burns, Intimate Connections