I think that once you move to your new place, you really need to try hard to do as minimal as possible with your W. That is tough to do with D involved, but you need to tell her that you need to live really apart for a while. Simulate what a divorce would be like. Also, dont help her out when she gets into financial trouble. She needs to really come to terms with the fact that she cant exist without you. Maybe she will try really hard to be with OM and fall flat on her face when she finds he is a deadbeat loser.
I just cant see the way the two of you have been going as getting you to your goal. She needs to have her life kick her in the face to see what she is giving up by treating you like someone she could care less about.
