well, all hell broke loose, it is over and done

[BeingMe]

Cat, I am so sorry you are going through all this. Perhaps its' time to leave your unstable H, so he can see that he can leave an unstable OW. Just a thought! Maybe you should initiate the separation, and tell him you want a formal S, so that you can get on with your life. OW is nutso! To insinuate that you had a knife when you were at her apartment is crazy, 'cause if you did then your H is a total coward to jump out the back leaving her alone with a 'psycho W weilding a knife'. So, I wouldn't worry about anything this ditzy OW says, or what your H is saying to her about you ... unless they say it in court. I would keep a journal of things said to you, dates, lies being told about your character (you could end up suing OW for defamation of character if she is spreading these rumours around about you, especially the ones about you abusing your children ... just another thought) so that you can refer back if you ever needed to. But, once written down then try and forget it.

Also, the thought that this OW has designs on getting your kids is freaky. Time to protect them, and get yourself and them out of this mess, ASAP. Your H has made his choice ... he's just too much of a coward to truly be open and honest with you, and doesn't want to come off looking like the bad person. Go see a lawyer, and get things started. Let the lawyer speak for you re any SA, and get as much money as you can (for the sake of your children).

Anger can get you through the initial letting go, but I agree that you have to let go of it as soon as you are clear of the sitch. Good for you with the GAL activities. It will do you good to have people around you, and be able to speak and think about other things.

So, IMHO, you should let your H go free, let him go, don't hang onto him in the hopes of his changing now. Stop hoping he will do as you feel he should ... this sickness inside him will run it's course according to it's own timetable. Once he is free to do as he pleases, then maybe one day he will come back to you, whole and healthy. You don't want him as he is now, anyway, surely. It's only when I got to this point in my sitch, when I felt true relief and peace, and my H returned to the M of his own free will (although, I do think I let him in sooner than I should've, but that's another story).

My heart really goes out to you, Cat! Thinking of you. Take care of yourself and those kids, and let God do the rest.