Hap said: I really do think LD is a manifestation of emotional withdrawal rather than a genuine drive issue.
LFL said: I totally agree. Funny how if they want to, LD people can have sex as much as the rest of us. Just got to break through that emotional wall.
I agree with Hap's statement. I can see the validity of that in my own sitch. I have come to realize that I was avoiding emotional intimacy (and still am somewhat) and that played a role in my LD.
This is what makes Cemar's head pop off, and many of the rest of us HD guys angry but hopefully a little more PC in how we express that anger, but it's precisely because there is some past history of HD, and our suspicion that our mate is holding back or simply not making it a priority or trying hard enough, that leads to our resentment.
At least it does for me.
There seems to be a LOT of contradiction among low-desire people that "we don't choose to be this way, we can't help it" and then we get scores of "I guess I didn't realize how important it was to my husband/wife" and "Maybe I wasn't making it a priority" posts, too.
Which is it??
I think I could accept my wife a WHOLE lot better if I knew that her low sex drive was something innate. But when I was able to see it the first few years we were married, and then also each time over the years when I put my foot down . . . and then when I add to that the fact that I KNEW she "found" it when she had her affair last summer . . .
