OK, I don't know how to do that quote in a quote thing, so I'll do it this way...
Hap said: I really do think LD is a manifestation of emotional withdrawal rather than a genuine drive issue.
LFL said: I totally agree. Funny how if they want to, LD people can have sex as much as the rest of us. Just got to break through that emotional wall.
I agree with Hap's statement. I can see the validity of that in my own sitch. I have come to realize that I was avoiding emotional intimacy (and still am somewhat) and that played a role in my LD.
LFL, I think your statement is overly simplistic and not true for everyone. cac is still as emotionally avoidant as ever and he is as HD as ever. I don't think I am as avoidant as he is, yet I have always been the LD one in our R. I still am. Our SL is better probably because we're doing the compromise thing that Choc mentioned, not consciously, but that's just the way it's working out. If I don't want actual sex, I give cac a bj or hj and we're both happy. And I try to do what I need to do to internally to be feeling sexual and want sex regularly. But I still work at it. cac is ready to go anytime. I am not. Maybe we're an anomaly, I don't know.
I always thought that he was the emotionally avoidant one, not me. But I'm not sure that's true. I was avoidant when it came to opening myself up emotionally during sex. Still am, really, but working on that. He is avoidant in that he rarely opens up and lets me in at all, except through sex.
I've got lots of other thoughts swirling around in my head but I'm unable to articulate them at the moment.
