Thanks for responding to my post. It's so funny because you give me such great and truthful advice that it is hard to imagine that you get in a rut yourself. I think I am going to take your que on making a list of things to do. I am still sad and it still hurts, but since I decided to stick H with some of the hefty bills I feel less stress and partially vindicated. He has been walking around being able to do what the hell he wants with little or no consequnces. The biggest inconvenienc he has is driving here to see S everyday. He chooses to do that and I believe much of it is out of guilt. He has most of the weekend off and he has him mom to watch S when S stays with him. So he pretty much has his freedom. I hated to hit him in the pockets, but as my sister pointed out seperation and divorce has financial implications, hence the statement "it's cheaper to keep her." Anyway, it takes some much needed stress off me and for a change I am going to think about my feelings and I am going to be a little selfish. I am going to use the extra money to hire a sitter because I have been really burdening my mom with watching my son while I work. I am also going to pay a few things I have fallen behind on and if I am lucky maybe enroll son in a class and do a little something for me. Anyway, what I wanted to say about your MIL detaching from you during this situation is that she probably has some guilt. Maybe she knew about what was going on or had some insight to it and knew it was wrong. Perhaps she did not know how to react and if she and son are not close she probably had no power to stop it. The other thing is she probably recognizes her son is foul and knows she played a part in this. I am sure she is really dissapointed in him. No mom wants to come to the realization that their kid's family is screwed up and that that their kid is a big part of that. What mom would want to face the fact that their son is a cheater and a liar. With my own son I myself would not be his crutch. I would not allow my son to abandon his family. I would make him face his problems and stand up to his wife like a man. You mentioned that your H's dad abandoned his family too. So did my H's dad. This plays a huge part in their behavior.
