I see a lot of the reasons for the affair I believe were I was depressed and too dependent and needy on my spouse and on his side that he had anger issues (think he is still angry with me by his behaviors) and spent too much time away from home. I think you need time together to have a good marriage and we just didn't have that b/c of H's job, running, and friends. If we ever reconcile I would like to work on having some shared hobbies together, either running or whatever. H is getting counseling for his anger so hopefully that will help him. I am sad for him that as I am GALing he seems to be dropping all his activities and just focusing on the OW. Hopefully as I get stronger and healthier, he will someday as well???
I agree that it is not just as simple as having the OW out of the picture. Although I think that would be a huge step of course! I'm seeing the therapist, DB'ing, working out 6 days a week, have lost 30 pounds (trying to lose 40 pounds), work 60 hours a week cleaning the house and educating the kids, will be trying out for a play (singing and acting) Feb. 4th which is something I never would have done ever before this because I am the shyest person ever and I'm not that good a singer!); talking to friends and family every day for support instead of H, teaching Sunday School, etc. I've even been thinking about actually writing some fiction too which I've always wanted to do, but never done because I've just never taken the time, but I really like to write and had taken a lot of English classes in college, so maybe I'll do that as well. (and give you all a break!!!) Karen43
