I'm in agreement with everyone else that your H needs space to get himself figured out asap. More than that, you need space to get your focus put on you and what you can do for your own health.
Having a C in the room for you R talks would be nice--it's easier to hold the line when you have the backup of a professional...but in reality, you've been to a lot of counseling in the last while, had a lot of heart-to-heart R talks, and your H is still spinning in his personal hurricane. He knows he's in the wrong--horribly so, and that hasn't been enough to spark a change. You can't expect that to change overnight. (Much as I wish it would.)
What are you doing for you? I know you're clinging to your faith with everything you have, and that is definitely the most important thing you can do. But maybe it's also time to get a clear list of activities you can use to distract your attention while you back off, stay pleasant but disengaged from H, and give yourself the validation you so desperately need. Activities with the kids, service to your neighbors, join a book club or find some community education classes, exercising...just get busy and stop trying to save him.
