Where exactly is your H living now? Did you guys setup a schedule for your D's yet, or do they stay with you every night?
H is staying in an apt. w/ a coworker who is also going through a S w/ his W. (His sitch is actually much worse than ours.) H has pretty much been sleeping there for the last month and a half. Hasn't move anything there and isn't paying any rent that I know of. We still have a joint account and direct deposit. H stops by every evening get stuff for the next day.
No formal schedule in writing. It is unwritten that H spends Tues. and Thurs. evening w/ them while I leave the house and then we work out weekends. They stay at the house w/ me everynight and H comes in the morning to take D10 to school.
I didn't have much contact w/ H yesterday. Called him in the afternoon to let him know D10 planned to go skating early so she could practice alone before her team practice. (She is so cute as she is getting ready for a freestyle competition in March.) H had planned to see her at home before we went to the rink so I thought I should let him know. H was ok w/ it and stopped by the rink. I was in the lobby and H went out to "coach" D. One of the other moms told me how cute it was. We talked a little before he left.
I called H later in the evening to let him know about some concert tickets that we can pre-buy today. It is concert w/ one of his favorite artist so I really thought he would want to go. H said he had heard about the concert and asked about the prices. H said they were too much and I said I guess I should have just bought them for your b-day which is coming up in a month and a half. I know last year H's one EA went to a concert w/ some of the artist at this and she and H wished he was there w/ her. I actually would have enjoyed going to the one coming up. I think I was afraid if I went ahead and bought tickets that 1. H would already have plans to go w/ the CFB and 2. H wouldn't want to go w/ me. Oh well, H said he would look at the info today.
I need to get my rear in gear. I am supposed to take the Ds to a practice this morning and then H is spending the rest of the day w/ them.
I need to get my rear in gear. I am supposed to take the Ds to a practice this morning and then H is spending the rest of the day w/ them.
What do you have planned for your day since it's all your own? Hopefully you'll keep busy and not get too caught up in everything that is happening. It's good to hear that your H is spending a lot of time with your D's - I'm sure it'll be good for all of them.
I'd wait a week or so and tell H that you're getting the concert tickets for his birthday, and that he needs to block the time out in his schedule - He'll have probably forgotten the earlier conversation by that time
Well, I was looking forward to the afternoon to myself and thought about going to a movie. Then as I was about to go out the door H displayed some disgust towards me for something stupid. I took it way too personally and let it ruin my day. I basically just went window shopping as I let myself get depressed and wasn't into enjoying myself. Obviously I am no where near detached. I did buy a new pair of sunglasses for this beautiful Cleveland weather.
As for the concert. I might go ahead and buy the tickets. H is probably too clueless to get the implication that I want to go w/ him. H saw the one artist a year and a half ago and took a friend that annoys him. If I bought him two tickets he would probably want to take the CFB at this point. I have absolutely no clue where I stand. We are off to church as a "family" now. What a joke. Then I think H plans to take the Ds to dinner. Maybe I can salvage my evening.
Well, I was looking forward to the afternoon to myself and thought about going to a movie. Then as I was about to go out the door H displayed some disgust towards me for something stupid. I took it way too personally and let it ruin my day. I basically just went window shopping as I let myself get depressed and wasn't into enjoying myself. Obviously I am no where near detached. I did buy a new pair of sunglasses for this beautiful Cleveland weather.
It's tough to let their nonsense roll off your back - At least you got out of the house and got away for a while. Did you have something planned today that you didn't do, or was it just free time to fill up with something?
Originally Posted By: lizzy
As for the concert. I might go ahead and buy the tickets. H is probably too clueless to get the implication that I want to go w/ him. H saw the one artist a year and a half ago and took a friend that annoys him. If I bought him two tickets he would probably want to take the CFB at this point. I have absolutely no clue where I stand. We are off to church as a "family" now. What a joke. Then I think H plans to take the Ds to dinner. Maybe I can salvage my evening.
You sound frustrated - Maybe you're getting a little burned out on playing family with H? Seems to me like the 'half and half' separation is probably more stressful for you than pretty much any other situation.
I'd probably buy the tickets and just tell H that you're going with him - He'd have to be an idiot to refuse, although I'm sure that isn't too far from your mind. Your H is so unpredictable - I can understand why you would feel uncomfortable and not know where you fit into it all.
Well, I was looking forward to the afternoon to myself and thought about going to a movie. Then as I was about to go out the door H displayed some disgust towards me for something stupid. I took it way too personally and let it ruin my day. I basically just went window shopping as I let myself get depressed and wasn't into enjoying myself. Obviously I am no where near detached. I did buy a new pair of sunglasses for this beautiful Cleveland weather.
It's tough to let their nonsense roll off your back - At least you got out of the house and got away for a while. Did you have something planned today that you didn't do, or was it just free time to fill up with something?
Originally Posted By: lizzy
As for the concert. I might go ahead and buy the tickets. H is probably too clueless to get the implication that I want to go w/ him. H saw the one artist a year and a half ago and took a friend that annoys him. If I bought him two tickets he would probably want to take the CFB at this point. I have absolutely no clue where I stand. We are off to church as a "family" now. What a joke. Then I think H plans to take the Ds to dinner. Maybe I can salvage my evening.
You sound frustrated - Maybe you're getting a little burned out on playing family with H? Seems to me like the 'half and half' separation is probably more stressful for you than pretty much any other situation.
I'd probably buy the tickets and just tell H that you're going with him - He'd have to be an idiot to refuse, although I'm sure that isn't too far from your mind. Your H is so unpredictable - I can understand why you would feel uncomfortable and not know where you fit into it all.
I was thinking about going to a movie, but then my mood was too down for that. I had no real plans just time to myself that I was looking forward to. I'll try again today.
I am getting tired of the half and half. That must be really good cake my H is eating because he has eaten a lot.
H does have a business trip the end of the week and will be gone for almost a week. I think that will be a good break for all of us. Hopefully he will be able to do some thinking while he is gone.
Lizzy, Why don't you just give him ONE ticket?? J~
I'm not sure one ticket would go over very big. H might take that as me being a B. Anyway, if I get them I'll get two and it will be up to him how he uses them. His b-day is a couple of months away and the concert is a couple of months from then. No telling what the sitch will be by then.
I managed to do that. I was pretty quiet in the car and H may have sense I was in a "mood." We had a reception to attend after church. Ds wanted to go so we went for a little bit. H was talking to friends while Ds and I were in line for snacks. I picked up a couple of things that I thought H would like. Took them to him and said I thought these looked like something you would like. Without any hesitation H took them and seemed to enjoy them. He actually went over and got some more then came where I was and we talked and joked w/ a friend. Looking back I'm surprised at how happy he seemed.
On the way home H asked about what I wanted to do for dinner. I said I thought he had plans as he had said something earlier in the day about taking Ds to dinner. H said he hadn't decided anything because he thought D15 was going to do something w/ a friend. I said I only had one thing I could make or we could get something. H said something about going out for dinner and I said something about me being invited. H asked where I wanted to go and we let D10 decide. She was in a really good mood at the restuarant. I'm sure she enjoys spending the time as a family. I hope this means that somewhere down the road H plans on working on the R. Otherwise we are just further screwing up the Ds.
After we got home I was in the bedroom when H came in. We started talking and he sat down by the bed to talk. I thought this was a big positive. Then we ended up downstairs sitting and talking some more. No talk of the R of course, but I thought it was positive that we were actually communicating so much.
I managed to do that. I was pretty quiet in the car and H may have sense I was in a "mood." We had a reception to attend after church. Ds wanted to go so we went for a little bit. H was talking to friends while Ds and I were in line for snacks. I picked up a couple of things that I thought H would like. Took them to him and said I thought these looked like something you would like. Without any hesitation H took them and seemed to enjoy them. He actually went over and got some more then came where I was and we talked and joked w/ a friend. Looking back I'm surprised at how happy he seemed.