Helloooo...Smoother Ride....Where Are You???

[SueS]

Hi Everyone!

It's been a few days since I've been on. Just really busy here at work. It's been nice though. The past few days I've been feeling a bit more like myself here at work. More productive.

H is choosing not to go to the movie with me on Sat. night. He said he's broke. No money at all. I'd asked him last night if he was going to go with me or not. He was curious as to why I was asking. D3 has a birthday party tomorrow, so I might see if I can do something after that. I'm short on cash too, but I can just go hang out at a friends or do some window shopping! Funny thing though, H said that he's short on money, went on and on about how he won't meet his bonus this month, he'll just break even, he can't pay me back yet what he owes....etc. However, he wasn't home yet at 10:20 last night. He gets off at 9:00. I truly didn't want to call him, but needed to ask about something that D3 needed for school today. He answered and told me that he'd "stopped off" for a little while, which means a beer or two. He said, I'll be right home. He got home just after 11:00. I kept my mouth shut but of course couldn't stop thinking about his "I'm broke" speach to me earlier.

Rob, I know I need to find some GAL things for just me. And you are right, there are things I can do that won't cost too much money. I do have to say though that I feel better now. As I said, I went through all my papers and set everything up so I know all of what is where and what needs to be taken care of. I printed up brochures and drove past a few apartment complexes. I cleaned out drawers and threw away/donated things....etc. I don't want to do all of this "preperation". However, the more I do, the more organized I feel and the stronger I feel. I don't want my marriage to fail, but I feel like if I don't do this now that life will temporarily be harder if I'm not organized and ready. If it does work and we'd reconcile, then again, I'll be more organized, stronger and know better how to handle things.

I'm waiting to hear from my sister. Years ago, she had some problems with her heart & circulatory system. About 6 months ago she fainted at work. They thought she was just weak from having been sick. She faited again a few days ago but had been feeling fine. They did test and found possible heart issues again. She goes back today to get test results to see if it's anything of major concern. Keeping my fingers crossed. She's not just my sister, but one of my closest friends.

I have to say that H has been odd the past few days. He's been a bit short with me at times, but mostly okay....considering the circumstances. Not sure what's going through his mind. I've stepped away a bit and he's stepped toward me. Not major steps toward me by any means, but not running in the other direction. He's been sleeping in our bed all week. I've also woken up to find his legs draped over mine or him laying right next to me. Guess I need to keep steaming ahead and see how he reacts.

Well, I better get busy.

One Question.........Mark, where have you been?? Don't get me wrong, not seeing posts on my thread doesn't bother me. I know you're there for help if I need ya. I just haven't seen a new thread for you and I'm wondering how you are!

SueS