Are the libidos hopelessly different though? Or is it that we haven't been brave enough like LFL says to tear the house down. I really do think LD is a manifestation of emotional withdrawal rather than a genuine drive issue. Why is the balance more skewed to LD-wife/HD-husband? Maybe because women like to talk and men like to act. So men would like to take some action to get closer and women want to talk things through. I also think that on a biological level women are wired to be unenthusiastic about sex with someone they don't trust. If you've been through the emotional wringer with someone why would you trust them?
I have posted here as the HD wife, but really I have been just as LD (emotionally withdrawn) myself at times. It was only when it got down to once a month or less and when he stopped pestering me for sex, or groping me or complimenting me that I started to figure something was wrong that needed addressing. I would be perfectly content with sex about two or three times a month as long as I was getting cuddles, proper kisses, compliments on my appearance, butt sqeezes, lewd remarks etc. I wouldn't mind having sex more than that of course. But not getting those extras is when I feel sex-starved.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
