well, all hell broke loose, it is over and done

[LoginName]

Hi, can't help but add a little. This may not be the right time to say this - you may need your anger and indignation now, but...

"to treat you like sh!t and live this life on his terms. ---------------------------------------------------"
I really don't think he wanted to treat you like sh!t. I really think it has nothing to do with you. Is that even harder to hear? Is it easier to think he is doing things to you than to think you're not even part of the picture? It's all in his head, it's all about him and his issues.

I'm saying this for the future. How are you going to rebuild with him (or with someone else) if you feel that he, or anybody, owes you.


" I want HIM to do things right for me this time around, not the other way, "
I hope that in the future you don't expect HIM to do anything to make you happy. I hope that you'll move on to where you realize there is nothing he can do to make it up to you. You have made yourself happy, healthy and whole. You won't try to do things for him to make him happy either. That'll be his job. I hope that any new R you may have, you won't be expecting that person to make you happy either.

Detaching means giving up what you can't control, letting go, of the anger eventually too. It's the greiving process. Anger is part of it. But it has to go eventually too.

so use your anger now, if you need it for strength, if it has to be expressed. Embrase it and feel it, but know that you'll have to let it go eventually.

And just like BI said, and you realize, it's still not about the OW. It's a waste of energy to think about her at all -what they did or said, or anything else about her.