Question-Any good basic advice for me?

[Michael Mc C]

In addition to Choc's comments, be aware that even if the A ends, there is a good chance that the WAS will consider the marriage too damaged to continue. I am going through this right now myself.

Work on yourself because YOU need to be happy with yourself. Secondary to this, you want to be attractive to the WAS. You want your H to see you as exciting, interesting, attractive - basically, worth the effort of trying to reconcile with. While you KNOW you're worth the effort, one of the unfortunate side-effects is that you are basically reapplying for the position.

My W has admitted time and again that she wasn't miserable and that our marriage was not in trouble before OM came around. Now that he's gone, my logical mind says "okay, let's pick up where we left off, heal from the damage and make this stronger." That's not the way it works I'm afraid.