I don't feel that I have gone all that dark though. I had lunch with H about a week ago, and then I called and accidentally woke him up just two days ago to wish him Happy B-Day. He was clearly irritated by it.
As far as me trying to make any progress with Step-D, she loves that H and I are getting a D. Splitting us up is what she always wanted and H completely defers to her now because he's scared she'll run away again. Trust me, I have tried with that girl. She is very manipulative and lies to her dad about me all the time. And he believes her. No way am I giving her any more ammunition to use against me.
Any "help" I try to offer H with Step-D will not be welcome. I am leaving that alone for now. I listen with interest when H tells me about Step-D's activities and such, but I don't offer advice. I just validate what he says, let him know that I am delighted that she is doing well in school, or whatever it is that H tells me about her. What more can I do at this point? I am letting H take the lead.
My C has said that she and her dad won't last the way things are though, because she'll leave soon after turning 18 anyway. This is H's last-ditch effort to "raise her", and it's too little too late. Step-D chafes at authority now, and like I said, H defers to her wishes most of the time so she won't bolt.
Plus, H has a problem with the way she dresses, her friends, etc. H has a problem with just about everything and he wants to move to Oregon with her after she graduates high school. H figures if he can get her away from her friends, that will solve everything.
I feel that H has unrealistic goals right now, and maybe that is common with the clinically depressed. It's very difficult for me to navigate through this minefield and I think that I should be careful about sending up too many trial balloons.
If anyone has any advice for dealing with a clinically depressed H, I would be happy to hear it. He has been on meds and had therapy for years, but it hasn't helped. I am H's third W. He finds fault with everyone.
